God Meant It For Good

Friends: You have once again amazed me with the amount of support you have shown me and my family in the past few weeks. In a moment of complete desperation, I asked for blind prayers and you responded with not only prayers but phone calls, gifts of encouragement, thoughtful notes and support.  I have been humbled by your swift and thoughtful responses. 

It is so easy to see God’s goodness when our lives are smooth and uneventful but it’s hard to see His goodness in the midst of a trial. You were able to help me see the goodness and focus on that. What an incredible gift God has given to us in our relationships with others.  Life is difficult and bad things do happen, things that happen without explanation. It always amazes me how God can send warriors in the form of friends and in unexpected ways. The last two weeks have shown me that even through a trial, God is still good. His timing is perfect. His purpose is perfect. Even when I don't see his hand, I believe it’s there because I can see yours. Again, I thank you.

I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to see the past two weeks in any other way except horrible. I’ve thought a lot about why I should or shouldn’t share our story. I want you to know this is not a “in the moment” post but one I have thought a great deal about and one I have tried to approach with care. It scares me to think that anyone would have to endure what our family has  - It shouldn’t have happened to us and it should never happen again to anyone else.  In order for that change to happen, I need to speak candidly and honestly about our experience so that you can learn from it. 

As parents it is our job, among other things, to teach our children character. We  know that integrity, honesty and accountability are all important traits we want to see in our children but teaching these traits is sometimes difficult. 

Being raised in a godly home no way insures that our children will always make good decisions or that they will be perfect but we pray for that outcome and guide them towards that goal. We try, to the best of our abilities, to raise kids who treat others with respect and dignity while simultaneously trying to prepare them for a world that is harsh and cruel. 

Today’s world is not the same as the world of our teenage years. Our kids are bombarded with images of who the world thinks they should be. They live in a digital society where destructive words and actions are reinforced and sometimes even liked and applauded.  The hurt and destruction this digital age has brought is darker and more evil than anything we had to endure. It only adds to the difficulty it takes to help our children grow their character. 

We teach our children to endure suffering and to hold their anger while at the same time telling them they should defend themselves and others in situations that they know are wrong.  This is especially difficult to do with the onset of social media.

We are confusing them.

“Stand tall…but hide behind a screen”

“Don’t let anyone mistreat you…unless they are behind a screen

“Report…when its easy”

“React…only when it suits you”

“Speak out…when you feel someone is worthy”

“Stand up…if you have back up”

“See something-say something…unless you feel like recording it”

“Defend your body…or abuse it”

“Defend your honor…when it makes you look good”

These are the kinds of messages we are sending to our own children.

We encourage them to look for the good in every situation but also to guard their hearts and still, somehow mixed in all of these already conflicting messages, is the message that being brave means facing adverse situations with a positive outlook, a smile and with your head held high. Quietly and without reacting.

BUT then we find ourselves face down in our own trial and we learn being brave is not always easy and pleasant. Being brave sometimes involves taking a risk.

Acting. 

Talking. 

Admitting faults. 

Sticking up for someone.

Starting a difficult conversation.  

Above everything else, we learn that being brave means doing SOMETHING. 

Our kids need to know this AND see this from us.

How many times have our children suffered at the hands of another child or adult and we chose not to “rock the boat” only to find out that same bully moved on to someone else because he knew he could get away with it?

How many times have we looked the other way when our own children misbehave?

How many times have we let our kid’s friendships continue that we know are toxic because we do not want conflict?

We refuse to act. We refuse to report. We avoid being “that parent” at all costs even when the cost is the safety of other children.

We don't react and because of this others suffer.

Parents:  we cannot continue to fail our children this way.

Being brave is choosing to speak out even when its difficult or you are scared and yes, even if you are standing alone. 

Our kids need to see that we will react when their lives and integrity are in jeopardy. We must react even if its hard. 

We must make the phone call. We must fill out the form and we must report not to other parents but to the school administration and even the police. 

Being brave involves risk but it is a risk that we must teach our children to take. Risk is something our kids need to see us take to show our bravery. 

I’m choosing to be brave right now not because I want to but because I need to.

I know people will judge me and my family but I feel  it is more important to speak than it is to remain comfortable.  I wish I could sit with you all and look at you so you could see my hurt and pain and see how we have been broken and brought to our knees because of hate, ignorance, lack of action or reaction. No family should ever find themselves in our situation. We all need to face this head on. 

Ben is a wonderful and brilliant teenager who has a diagnoses of Aspergers. We know this. The school knows this. Most of our friends know this. I wrote about his diagnoses in this post if you need further explanation. 

Ben has an IEP which is a legal and binding document that protects him by law.  Certain safeguards are in place to protect his safety and insure he is educated in the least restrictive environment.  Those that care for Ben should know his diagnoses including his challenges and work to make the school environment safe for him. They should be doing this for all kids, regardless of whether or not they have an IEP. I have spent many nights praying for not only his inclusion but for his safety. It has not been easy. Every time I stepped into a new battle for his rights or his safety, I became more and more numb, bitter and resentful. 

My heart turned colder which is why, when two weeks ago, our family was in the midst of  battle once again, I shut down. I lost all hope. Losing all hope is not a place where you want to stay very long. It was a dark place.

Two weeks ago Ben was involved in an altercation on the bus which the school said was unprovoked. It is an altercation we have seen coming for 3 full years and one, if PHM would have responded to in our prior reports, would have never happened. 

Starting the summer of seventh grade, Ben has been ruthlessly and relentlessly targeted by a bully. We have filed report after report to not only the school but to our local cybercrime division of the police. We did everything we were supposed to do as parents. We followed the rules. We documented. We reported. We surrounded Ben with adults who tried to walk him through this. It still continues. We watched helplessly as this child slowly stripped away our child’s self worth and confidence. It has been sneaky, planned and heartbreaking. We watched and reported. We have documented all of this. 

This  all started the summer of seventh grade when this child came into our home with the sole purpose of taking pictures of our child and posting them to social media sites with disparaging remarks. We watched on social media his continued disparaging of others.We watched this all with no reaction from administration at all levels in the PHM district. For three full years,  Ben watched as the very adults who were supposed to protect him ignored it, contributed to it, and excused it. This child is the reason we had to remove our child from Discovery Middle School before the end of eighth grade. We were unaware of it  until two weeks ago, but have learned since that it continued at PENN.

PHM has done nothing. Kevin and I both knew there would come a time that Ben would have to step in and defend himself and that is exactly what happened two weeks ago. Two weeks ago we lost all faith that the school would ever protect our child and that the bully will always win. Always.  This was only magnified as I received email after email of other bullying experiences that have been met with no response. We learned that speaking up means nothing at all when met with downplaying and denial both by the school and even other parents.

We knew that this “altercation” was not “unprovoked” and we were furious. The school suspended Ben for two days and handed Ben to this child on a silver platter with a side of bragging rights. In their minds- case closed. 

If all of this was not enough to make us furious, this event has sparked an influx of information to us and we found out that this bully had written a rap song, which was downloaded to Sound Cloud, calling Ben a retard and naming five other PENN students in both disparaging and frightening ways. Specific threats. Named children. The school has had this in its possession since June. We did not know our child was specifically named until after Ben’s suspension. We did not learn this from the school. We learned this from a parent. A parent who BRAVELY contacted us. A parent we could all learn from. We were horrified. Scared and MAD. 

I cant speak for the school as to the reasons the school chose not to respond to these direct threats against their students but one excuse we heard was that they “talked to the parents” about it. When I asked why we were not afforded the same opportunity to “take care of it”  with our own son we were met with vague excuses. 

I’m telling you this because as parents we should be outraged. 

The very school which is tasked with keeping our children safe was in possession of lyrics and songs of pure hate and evil intent, naming specific students and it appears they did nothing. I know we were never notified. I’ve given the district every chance to make this right, to assure me my child is safe. We  have been afforded nothing and friends, let me tell you, I am having a hard time moving forward. I was trying. I was seeking advice, praying, researching, sorting through, and questioning.

the day after Christmas I stopped when I realized the only thing that was left to do was to share our experience in hope of preventing it from happening again. I have done every thing that I can. I have contacted those who need to be contacted. I have had the appropriate conversations. I have shed rivers of tears and I can cry no more. 

I know life is hard. I know evil exists but I also know God is good. He never changes. Things are not always going to go the way I imagine them going but I have to trust that even if the school continues to be unresponsive, God isn’t unresponsive.

The day Ben was suspended people showed up for us in unimaginable ways. Texts, calls, visits, encouraging words. They encouraged us to endure and they supported Ben, knowing he would never react without provocation both immediate and over the years and that my friends, is what sustained our family and grew us. It is why after I post this I will continue to push for change and share our story. 

God speaks to us in the most unimaginable ways and sometimes in our deepest heartache are our greatest lessons. This lesson has brought such deep pain that I must somehow find good in. 

Genesis 50:20 says, “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”

Behind this heartache of ours is a God who is at work. A God whom I know to be faithful. 

When trials and heartache come about, especially when they involve our children, we always want a quick deliverance from a God whom we know is able. When our kids suffer, our suffering is even greater because we cant see how the trial will turn out so even though I know I must keep believing God is a sovereign God. This does not mean I can just passively endure this trial, especially when others safety is involved. This is why Im speaking. How you react is your choice. I hope you choose to search for answers and encourage change.

There is evil in this world. Whether of not it comes knocking on your door, you shouldn't become immune or hardened towards it  but we should seek to dispel it by bringing more light to drown out the darkness. Today’s bullies are not those of our childhood. These bullies know how to effectively and secretly hurt and humiliate our children. They are both blatant in their attempts while also flying under the radar. They  hide. They cover. They persist. When one account is deleted another one emerges.  They move from child to child. Do not think yours will not be next. 

Do not become immune to evil. Overcome it with good.

Parents: We must start reacting. 

If our schools were actively seeking ways to bring this problem to the light, it would not exist at the level it does today. If parents we were all willing to discipline our children even in the difficult moments, especially in the difficult moments, we could start moving forward with confidence that change will happen.  

Today I do not have that confidence.

I pray this changes.

We all need to show our community that we won’t stand by and pretend this is not a problem. We have to show them that the light always overcomes the darkness. 

It can only happen when we  choose to step in and be brave. 

 Please be brave and use our story for good 

I am the Storm

I  have always said that Cushings Disease has been the single greatest tool to show me the grace of Jesus. God never wastes my struggles. The miracle is being able to still praise Him in the midst of them. 

Unfortunately, this weekend I forgot what I KNOW and have LIVED so many times - God is always faithful. He has a perfect record. Perfect timing and a perfect plan. 

This weekend I took a temporary ride on Mary’s hot mess express. It cruised along all weekend long...

But after a weekend of being on board a pity train to depressedville,  I’m trying to start fresh today but friends I do need some extra prayer.  

Today, even though I am once again reminded that I live with a relentless disease, I need to be reminded  that I have a God who is also relentless in His pursuit of me.

 In remission or out, the effects of this disease still linger years after surgical and chemical interventions and it sometimes causes anger and bitterness to creep in my heart.  I forget all of the blessings that have happened as a result of it. I look only at the pain. 

Satan loves to see those chinks in my armour. He uses them to get in and attack. He knows exactly what my struggles are. He’s the engineer of the pity train that I chose to board. He encourages me to climb aboard. He is the one that reminds me I will always have this disease. The one that makes me think that as soon as one victory is claimed another challenge will be presented. He makes me see and feel the pain. This time he hit me where he knew it would hurt the worst. 

My mouth. 

A direct shot. 

For those of you who think Satan is a cartoon character with a cute pitchfork you are wrong. He’s crafty, deceitful and he knows your weaknesses. He’s no joke. 

But God is bigger, stronger and more powerful. Always. He’s already won but that will never stop Satan from trying. 

This disease, manifesting in my mouth, is the worst case scenario for me because I am a walking billboard for dental anxiety. I wear the crown. I am the face of childhood dental trauma.  

Medically speaking, because of prolonged cortisol exposure, my white blood cell count stopped fighting against the local bacteria between my gums and teeth. They just stopped going there- jerks! Cortisol also inhibits new bone growth which contributes to osteoporosis of my jaw bone causing the already bad teeth to have no support. Therfore teeth are breaking, cracking, and causing all kinds of issues. 

The last two Fridays I have had to have 2 teeth removed. The healing, also has been slow and painful. Hence, the pity train full steam ahead. 

Today I jumped off. I have a renewed spirit.  I have the support of a wonderful husband. I am under the great care of a oral surgeon and dentist who are direct answers to my prayers. 

Please pray that my mouth will heal as well as my defeated heart. My struggles are usually the places where I’m still enough to hear God’s voice so I ask for prayer to not only hear His voice but to listen and respond. 

I know there are those of you who are facing far greater struggles today and others whose daily lives are a struggle. Please let me know how I can pray for you too! 

Parents: We Are The Problem

The world is filled with hate.

We see it on the news and social media. We see hate in the schools, on sports fields and even in line at the grocery store. 

Our family has been a victim of hate and of  targeting and it didn't happen because of our skin color or our socioeconomic status. It happened because the parents let it. As parents we are the ones letting hate thrive in our culture.  This problem is ours. 

For our family it happened as what a lot of people see as "innocent hate" - schoolyard taunts, exclusions and social media shaming. Sometimes this innocent hate stops after the school yard or when high school is over but other times is goes unchecked- growing and festering until we see these schoolyard bullies on the local news. 

Think about it this way. 

Every protester we see, Every single person holding a sign while not holding a job- they are someone's child. They had the influence of parents and other adults for years leading to the very moment we see them on the news. The hate in their hearts has been ignored and cultivated long before the moment we see them on the local news. It passed through many adults before it showed its ugly face on the news. 

Yet, nothing changes. It not only doesn't change but It has progressively gotten worse. We know these seemingly little moments of hate will sooner or later turn into full blown  I don't care who sees me hate and we do nothing.

For the last two years I have been writing a book about bullying which I feel has somehow become a form of hate that we excuse or don't seem to mind.  I've poured into it for two full years and recently in a complete moment of clarity, I shredded it. It was liberating (and maybe a little crazy). I did not do this out of anger or frustration but because I knew it was time. Our focus needs to shift. I was trying to be a voice for those that don't have one when I finally realized that they dont need my single voice they need a collective battle cry from every single parent. 

This world is a hate- filled mess. It is right  now and it was two years ago when my family was seeing it up close and personal. It's not a political problem. It's not a school problem or a government problem. 

It's a parenting problem. 

It's time that we all stop playing the victim role so well and start seeing our world, including bullying for what they really are. 

A full blown parenting crises. 

The turning away from family time in favor of other activities.  The slow decline of a parent's influence and voice with regards to raising our own children. 

No amount of research data or public service announcements will actually prepare you for when your family is in the midst of a crises -bullying, hate-filled or otherwise.  I am proof.  

I was in the midst of writing, researching and collecting data for which would have become a book about modern day bullying and I missed EVERY. SINGLE. SIGN even when hate walked through my own front door. 

Parents- We are allowing this hate to not only thrive but we are opening our own front doors and letting it walk right in. 

Believe me- we literally let hate walk right through our own front door when we allowed a child, who we thought we could trust enter our home. We opened the door to him ( and his phone) and  let him walk right in.  Our whole ugly, heart wrenching six months of experiencing hate first hand started when we opened the door to it. 

Parents we do this every day in so many ways. We excuse it, ignore it and justify it. It might not always come knocking on your front door, it could happen scrolling through social media, in overheard adult conversations or by simply turning on the television. We give hate a personal invitation into our families lives and sometimes we don't even realize it until the damage is already done. 

Bullying and hate will only stop when parents stop allowing it in. When we show them we won't allow hate to enter. 

When we were facing the enormity of our own situation I didn't want to read a book about it. I wanted explanations. I didn't want statistics I wanted answers. I certainly did not want to open up Facebook and see people sharing sad videos of traumatized children who had been bullied while at the same time doing nothing. I wanted someone to do something.

Parents: if you think hate only exists in the national spotlight you are naive. To see hate you need to look no further than your own seemingly safe community- the sidelines of a sporting event or in the hallways of your child's school. You don't need to read the newspaper or see it on social media it's in our own backyards.  It's in these every day places that the seeds of hate, privilege and exclusion are planted and cultivated by our own lack of attention to them.  Our kids don't know the difference between right and wrong until we tell them and show them in our everyday interactions.

Hate exits when we allow it to. 

Hate happens in the abscence of love and direction.

What did I need when I witnessed hate on a personal level? 

I needed someone to take ownership for it. 

I needed parents who actually took responsibility. 

I needed SOMEONE to respond. 

I got nothing. 

Now that I am on the other side of this experience and as I watch the daily news become more and more hate filled,  I am able to see clearly what went wrong in our situation and what is wrong now.  

We are placing the responsibility and blame on our kids when it should be on us. When our children are bullied it's oftentimes because the are labeled as different ( we prefer exceptional) but then we automatically turn around and label the "bully" and judge them. 

Bullying does not still exist because kids are born with a bullying gene, it exists because we allow it to. The people we watch on the nightly news were not born with the protester gene any more than they were born with a hate gene. Even worse,  in today's society there are those that are video taping every second of the hate but doing nothing to stop it. 

Before I was dealing with it firsthand,  I had always been under the assumption that most kids and adults will react if they see bullying or hate happening or that in the very least they will react if they see something they know is wrong.  

They do not. 

Which is why no one should be shocked at the events in our schools or in our world.

Bullying starts in our homes when we allow it and accept it. It then moves into the schools and then spreads out into the world. We are the ones raising these bullies and bystanders. 

When we look to blame someone we should look no further than to ourselves. 

It's not the systems fault when our kids are jerks, it is our own. 

At its heart bullying happens when kids are mean and most of the time they are mean because of us. Our homes are the places where character should be taught and lived out every single day, even on the days it is hard. Even when we do not want to. 

Hate doesn't discriminate based on your socioeconomic status. Our child was at a four star school, where the majority of students are middle to upper class. bullying posters hung on the walls, and curriculum was in place regarding bullying yet it still happened and far worse no one reacted to it happening.

Contrary to research kids do not want to step in and many times adults look the other way. Your child is not likely to tell you if they witness or are a victim of a hate filled interaction. 

Our child told us nothing until it became  too much to bear.  We are fortunate he finally said something. It is likely your child will not tell you. which is why when is comes to bullying campaigns we fail year after year.  You can't teach anti- bullying tactics to a whole school of kids who don't posses the strength in their character to stand up for their own self much less others. As parents we are responsible for building that strength of character. 

Instead of anti bullying campaigns in the schools we need to start teaching character in our own homes and to our own children. 

We need to raise kids who will not only be strong enough to stand up for themselves but for others.

So many people were bystanders in our case,  including the parents of the aggressor. This is frightening. 

It means we are not only raising aggressors, we are raising followers who watch it happen and do nothing.  It means sometimes it's the parents who watch and do nothing. 

We see a lot of footage of protests filled with hate but not a lot of people doing anything. They point fingers and make sure to record it while saying nothing. We are not only raising children who think it's ok to publically humiliate others. Far worse is that this same generation finds joy in sharing the humiliation over and over again. instead of stepping in to help. 

In our case

No one stepped in 

Not. 

One. 

Person. 

No adult or child. 

No one. 

It was happening in the classroom, in the hallway, in the lunchroom. It was physical, verbal, on social media and it started with one child and spread like the plague. 

When it was finally addressed 

They excused. 

They blamed us. 

They dismissed.

They allowed it to not only happen but to continue unchecked. 

They did-

The  parents of the aggressor. 

This lack of parenting is what is wrong. 

This trend of thinking our kids can do no wrong and shifting the blame to others is contributing to a downward spiral of our world and if we hit rock bottom we have no one to blame but ourselves. These adults on the news who feel wronged, who are looking to blame anyone but themselves learned that behavior from someone. 

We are watching a generation of kids who would rather video tape a suicide than to step in and stop it. 

Let that sink in. 

We are raising a generation of kids who hide behind screens in their bedrooms with closed doors. 

This is not a debate of time, money, career parents vs. stay at home parents. It's not about single parents or even the age of the parents- it's about actually BEING a parent. 

Having hard conversations. Disciplining. Being our childrens greatest advocate but not their friend. 

Setting an example. 

Checking phones, 

Checking friends. 

Checking where they are. 

ACTIVELY parenting our own children. 

Kids are not mean because it's their nature. They are mean because they are allowed to act that way. 

They are mean because of US. 

This is the next generation. 

If you think we are divided now, wait. It's only going to get worse. 

As technology increases 

Parenting seems to decrease. 

This is why I stopped writing a book about bullying. The realization that nothing will change unless the parents do. We are far past the point that a book will help. We are overworked and stretched thin. Instead of reading we need to  put everything down and reconnect with our children. 

We need to admit we ARE the problem. 

The parents. 

The adults. 

This is our issue. we are raising these kids. 

The ones who tear others down to lift themselves up.

The ones who step on and shove anyone whose in the way. 

The ones, who instead of being happy when their friends succeed, find ways to discredit them. 

We are the ones planning their friendships, jockeying them into the social positions we think they deserve and need. we are the ones raising children who are self centered and entitled. Whose worth comes from a sports team they are on, the grades they receive and the clothes they wear. Who are being taught to shove instead of reach, ignore instead of include and to prey on weaknesses instead of building up strengths. 

We must stop placing the blame on the schools and politicians and party lines and  look no further than to ourselves. 

Our schools and our law enforcement are responsible to REACT to bad behavior but we are responsible for how our kids ACT. We need to step up our game. 

 Our schools can do nothing to prevent bullying if our children are just mean spirited, inclusive brats and they are because we allow it, ignore it and contribute to it. If we continue to raise them with a survival of the fittest attitude. We will never conquer bullying much less our hate filled world. 

One of the hardest things we do as parents is to let our children fail but it is even worse to fill them full of excuses and participation trophies. Parenting is hard and it requires work. It's not always simple and there are days I don't think I will survive it.  I do know, from personal experience that nothing will bring you to your knees harder and faster than when you watch your child suffer at the hands of another child. I don't ever want any family to experience what we did- A burning ember of hate which turned into a fire because it was left unattended and no one had the courage to throw water on it and put it out. 

We must raise kids who learn how to win humbly but lose graciously. The world doesn't owe them a thing. Their teachers and coaches owe them nothing. As their parents we do owe them something. We owe it to them to be an example. A positive one. We owe it to our children to instill character traits that will cause them to choose kindness over hate. Whose buckets will be so full of goodness that they are ready to not only sprinkle drops when needed but dump their buckets out to extinguish a fire! 

We owe our children every minute of our time and every ounce of our loyalty even when it means they will have bruised egos and learn hard lessons. 

I want my children to be good people. I don't want them to be performances junkies or mean spirited. I don't want them to live in a world where their worth is based on social status/ it is not. 

I want them to know that their worth is not based on a team, a friend or academic success. More than anything else I want them to be kind in ALL circumstances. I don't want them to become hardened because of what they have had to endure from others or what is happening in their world. 

I'm sick of repairing the damage mean kids do. I'm sick of having to explain to my kids why these kids have no empathy or consciences but  I'm certainly not going to blame presidents, school administrators or teachers because that only contributes to the  problem and shows them when the world isn't going your way you blame and point fingers or hold up a sign instead of examining your own motives and heart. 

We need to stop blaming everyone else and 

start blaming ourselves. 

We are what has happened. 

We have accepted and ignored behaviors and attitudes that we shouldn't. We have let technology raise our kids and we are exlperiencing the repercussions. 

We should start this school year not only advocating for anti- bullying campaigns and placing new posters on the wall or even lending new voices to the cause but by teaching our own children how to be strong and kind. 

Instead of calling administrators , teachers, coaches and pastors and placing blamie on everyone else I think we need to start this school year by looking at ourselves and taking responsibility.

What we express as important whether it be grades, sports, extra curricular is what will be important to our kids.  We need to start showing our kids kindness is important. Inclusion is important. Acceptance is important. It's just as important when no one is watching as it is when they are in a group. We need to not only talk about these things we need to live them out in our homes. We need to teach our children to be humble, gracious and accepting of everyone and we need to show them in our own actions that we value these things. 

We have the opportunity to show them how to express kindness and character even in the difficult moments. They need to know that character is far more valuable than social status and their value is far greater than being on the top rung of a middle school or high school ladder,  How they choose to treat people reaches far beyond the classroom and into the world. A world our kids will soon be leading. One that will continue to be a cut throat, self-centered, push and shove, one sided world if we don't intervene. 

Inclusion and acceptance are both more powerful than bullying.  Parents, we need to show our children this truth. 

We have gotten lazy. We get caught up in how good we feel when our children are happy and accepted without even realizing who we trample on to get there. We are creating in our children everything but the character traits that will make them empathetic, sensitive, and contributing members of our society.  

Let's stop judging and trying to mend a whole society and start by mending our own children. 

Maybe just maybe if we step in and become active parents we can set an example that we don't allow these behaviors and our kids will follow our lead.

There is far too much hate in our world, in our school and in our own backyards. 

The only way it will stop is if we step in and take a stand against it. To lead by example and dicipline in the hard moments. To make family a priority and not an afterthought. 

We need to step in and step up and Start parenting our children. 

We are what is wrong in this world. 

Let's stop blaming everyone else.