FACEBOOK

As you all may know, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  My on again/off again relationship with this social media giant has made me question, think and even laugh at the power it has over our society and over me. I was determined to figure this out in my mind so as with all problems I encounter- I question, I process, analyze, over analyze, write it down, and then I tell the whole world.

DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion. I am not talking about anyone or any event specifically unless I say it. If I do not say your name, I am not talking about you. Don't read too much into this. I am not secretly trying to send anyone subliminal messages and if you are my friend on Facebook you are my friend in real life. Don't get all weird on me after you read this!

We are our own worst enemies. We criticize our own selves more than any other person or thing in our lives.  It has always made me curious to why we (myself included) put ourselves out there faults and all for the world to see. Some say for attention, some say curiosity and some say for entertainment- I'm not really sure but I tend to think its because it is so easy.  Lets face it, we no longer live in a society where you can ignore a phone call or hide behind the lettuce in the produce section at the grocery store to maintain your privacy. Privacy is a thing of the past and we are allowing this by our own free will. Why is that? We say that Facebook keeps us connected but it is Facebook that allows us to slowly disconnect from the close relationships we once valued.

Not only can we see where our friends are at any given time by check ins, We can see so much more and  can see this information, process it, make opinions and judgements based on it and never have to speak with our friends about it.

Facebook allows us to see what everyone likes and wants us to like but we also see that they like urban legends and pets more than they like events in your life.  I know if my friends like cats, dogs, food, singers. I know if they like animals at all -or if they themselves are animals of the partying kind.

Through Facebook I know that there is a lot of sickness in this world.  I know that cancer sucks, women die during childbirth and life may sometimes seem unfair. I know that everyone is facing a struggle.  I post about my own and I know how everyone feels about these matters without ever speaking to them.

I know who my friends will vote for before they cast a ballot. I know what they question, what they criticize and what they value based solely on posts on Facebook. I know far too much and sometimes say far too much. That causes fissures in friendships. Knowing that you have friends on facebook whose values differ dramatically from your own is hard.. It is very difficult if not impossible to react, respond and remember when someone posts about such things as abortion being a women's right and your beliefs and values are the complete opposite and  it makes you hurt inside.

We have become a society who hides behind our technology, who don't value real social interactions where we can defend and discuss our beliefs in person and be held accountable for them without the protection of a screen.  We like and comment and friend and un-friend without ever looking each other in the eyes. We have become a society of friend gatherers and have diminished the value of real life connections. In our society today it seems people think it is better to have hundreds of Facebook friends but few real life friends. Facebook has now allowed us to "hide" from our friends by blocking their feeds or posting to select audiences. People justify this by saying it is better to hide that to ruin a friendship but lets get real, if you have to hide, you're not really friends, right? It only allows us to hide further from real life connections. We can not only end a friendship in one click, we can also hide from our friends and deny that it is not already broken and we can do this all while waiting in a carpool line.

We link, we share and we pray for people so much on facebook that we are forgetting what it is really like to be a friend to comfort someone in person, to prepare a meal for a sick friend, to stop by for a visit. Facebook has even allowed us to use punctuation as hearts. Now, not only are we not saying the word love, we are not writing it anymore either!

Facebook has cheapened the meaning of the words, "I will pray for you." Although typed with good intentions, how many people actually put their words into action. How many times have you typed the words I will pray for you and continued scrolling down your Facebook feed. Not ever taking the time to actively and consciously ask God to intercede- to lift that person up in prayer at that very moment.  The next button Facebook will add will be the pray button and we will all be in trouble because praying for someone is not pushing a button anymore than  pushing a button means you like them.

And if this all isn't cause to think, I have more:
For all the people who like and comment there are a whole bunch who do not and I do not care if you say you do not notice- if your human, you do.
For every party you post about, there are twice as many you were not invited to.
We see things that make us laugh, cry, mourn, and sadden us.
We see academic promise as we struggle with our own child's homework.
We see vacations we will never take.
We see athletic endeavors for which we could not physically accomplish.
We see healthy dinners while scrolling through our feed in the McDonald's drive through.
Does that make us bad people? Maybe not, but it sure doesn't make you feel great.

We no longer need gangs and cliques, we have Facebook.  Facebook has brought back the value people place on being a part of a exclusive group and letting that group define you, only now it is not with a physical group of people who share common values and beliefs but a network of people hidden behind the comfort of a keyboard.
People actually think their "popularity" is based on the amount of friends they show, who comments and likes are plentiful and even  think you are a good person in real life based only on causes you support and missions you are a part of and not from personal experiences.
We tell people they will be good people if they join our cause, donate their time, sacrifice their bodies without really know who these people are. For every request and plea, someone is feeling alienated either financially, medically or personally.  The fact of the matter is, most times we don't really know our friends anymore.  We know bits and pieces of their lives.  We know what they choose to share but oftentimes we really don't know them at all. All of these things cause me to have a rocky relationship with Facebook.  I want to break up. I just don't know if I would miss him. These thoughts I will continue to ponder in my never ending quest to have a healthy relationship with my frenemy whose name is Facebook.