I started this blog in April of 2009 as a way to document the everyday life of my family. 

I have shared everything from pictures, stories, milestones and vacations to home projects and thrift finds.  This blog has been through every sport including tennis, golf, wrestling, swimming, basketball, baseball and even scuba lessons. It has also documented what my boys loved at every stage of their young lives including phases of Pokemon, Bakugan, Lazy Town, Nerf, Legos and more. 

I wrote when I was happy and when I was devastated. I wrote short captions, heartfelt tributes and lengthy calls to action. Through this blog I shared my family, my faith and my heart.  This is the space I first shared Ben's diagnosis of autism and my diagnosis of Cushings Disease.

It did not matter to me who read it.  I wrote as a way to preserve memories for the boys. Memories I hope they will someday be able to look back on fondly. I also wrote to process difficult seasons and to heal and move on with hope. 

This blog was not a place I shared news reels, world opinions, political statements or sold unused items. It was personal. I can look back now and read what I wrote and see how I have changed directions, opinions,  and handled adversity (even the times I did not handle it well were documented) I can see how much my children have grown and how things have changed as well as remained the same. 

That my friends, is the gift of documenting personal memories.

It was only when the very life I was trying to document became increasingly busy that I sought out a more streamlined way to share our lives and eventually migrated full time to Facebook. I was originally a Facebook holdout and came  to the social media game late.  Although I occasionally found my way back to this space that felt safe to me over those years, for many years Facebook and then Instagram were my main outlets to connect with others and share our everyday lives.  It was an easy way to stay connected with all of you.

The biggest gift of social media was that it not only helped me to stay connected to my friends locally but helped to re-connect me with the people I walked with at every stage of life. Some of those reconnections I hold extremely dear today -one in particular was with a high school friend who is now such a great source of encouragement and support in my life. I could never view joining Facebook as a mistake based solely on having her friendship in my life again.

I’ve always had a love/ hate relationship with social media but it wasn’t until the time of covid and pre-election when I started to realized  the very things that had made Facebook appealing to me years ago no longer felt good. Facebook no longer fostered feelings of connection and community and with each passing day it no longer felt authentic or real. It felt ugly. Divisive. Accusing. Controlling.  When I finally left I deleted instead of deactivating because I wanted to lock the gate instead of merely erecting a fence.

It hasn’t been easy to disconnect. The loss has been felt deep in my bones. This disconnection has been felt the most in the many life events that I have missed in my friend's lives that deserved acknowledgement-missing  death announcements , birthdays, and major milestones are what bothered me the most. Gone are the days of writing those dates down. Facebook was the gatekeeper of those important events. When deleted you feel the loss. This I know. 

Last month it was with this in mind that I was contemplating a return. However, It was also the time that Facebook rebranded itself to Meta.

Facebook  transitioning to "Meta" helped me understand very clearly that their plan all along has always been the illusion of connection without actual connection. It solidified my original decision that Facebook (now Meta) would never again be a place for me. That space continues to move further away from the authentic connection I crave and into virtual connections. The virtual “realities” they promote and the science they manipulate are things that will only take me further from my values and beliefs. Facebook, now as Meta, is transitioning into something that resembles and promotes transhumanism. The name change is central to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerburg’s plans to push an agenda that entices Facebook’s users into a new transhumanist reality. I won’t go into detail about the dangers of this path. You can look them up for yourself but I will say that’s this path is a scary one and not worth being a part of simply to help me remember important dates. Instead of placing God at the center of your life, the “Metaverse” seeks to achieve heaven on earth and remove God from your life completely. Having a bad day? Go there and pretend you are not. Feeling lonely? How about a virtual relationship. 

We as a society have be lulled into such a deep sleep by the devices in our hands, it’s hard to see the true intent in what may seem like simple rebranding.  This should be the wake up call we all need. Please research for yourself. There is nothing good that will come from this path.

It’s why I find myself back here within the safety of my blog. In a space I can speak freely ( at least for now). A place that documents my family’s life without inadvertently supporting an agenda I don’t want to be a part of. A place where I can speak of my faith without fear of someone who views life differently removing my thoughts simply because they are not the same as theirs.

This does not mean that I will stay off all social media forever but just until I can find an option that supports more authentic sharing, less censorship and more community and one that doesn’t raised red flags along the way.  There are other options already out there to explore and others that are being built out but until I make a decision I will settle in here again.

I have always believed in sharing authentically and not leaving out the struggles that are sometimes uncomfortable to read. I also believe we should be able to share and listen to all sides of an argument and still remain firm in what we believe while not sacrificing personal values. The key in this is being able to do so without harsh judgement. I don’t believe in the term “my truth”. I believe only in THE truth and the one place I can find THE truth is in my Bible. The truth of the Bible doesn’t change due to world events or the difficulties of life or because independent fact checkers say so.  I found myself not wanting to share the truth on social media for fear of attack. I also did not like who I had become on social media. It was not authentic but fearful. I was focusing too much on what other people thought and I myself was ugly and opinionated at times.

There is a saying  “it’s much easier to act like a Christian than to react like one.” My reactions to other’s opinions did not represent my faith well.

Sharing life experiences, whether others agree, understand or even sympathize should never be a reason for others to attack, unfollow, ghost or unfriend but that is what I found on Facebook- a place that encouraged dissension, division, one-sided opinions where one view is allowed while others are censored. It is not real life. It had become a place where people were no longer seeking connection but seeking validation of their own view.  A place of proving points. For me, It was no longer a place to learn, grow and connect. Now, not only that, but it’s very belief at its core as it transitions to Meta and transhumanism does not line up with my values and my faith and places further emphasis on imagined connection. Virtual reality. It might make people feel good but it’s not real life.

Nothing on this blog has been written with hopes I could convince you to agree with me only with the hope I could help others see how it felt for me and/or my family to experience an event or an emotion. I hoped that even if we did view life differently we could still learn from each other.  Let’s face it, In our greatest times of need we don't always need others to give us their opinions or advice as much as we need to hear through other's stories from those who are walking similar roads we find ourselves trudging down if only to tell us that it will be ok. Those who are a little further along and willing to help us. Those people don’t necessarily come from our same circles or believe everything we do but we meet through common goals and even common pain, without judgement or censorship. It’s why we need to hear how everyone views life not just a set of pre- approved opinions.

So, here I am over a year after leaving social media-back in the space I abandoned because it required a bit more effort to maintain. It’s not lost on me that I moved to Facebook from this blog to experience a easier, faster connection and that is  exactly what I got but once I had that I realized how much I missed true connection and deep two-sided conversations. Full circle learning at its finest.

The real life feelings that come with memories and lessons I still feel years later when I read again.  A place to document the silly trivial moments as well as the deep feelings, not doing so for engagement, likes and comments but for me as an outlet to process.  A place I can remember not only events but the feelings and emotions that are attached to them. A place where hopefully someday my children can appreciate that their memories were documented and be reminded of them long after I enter heaven.

It is in this is the space that you are less likely to miss my heart.

I think this is why I have landed back here. A place where you can visit and connect with me. I have missed you all. I love to share. I love to write. I love to hear about your own lives. You can choose to follow this blog, check in when you feel like it. You can comment (or not) but I will be here from now on and until I feel comfortable with the new and emerging ways to share that don’t include moving further away from reality into an imagined one.

Life is real. Pain happens. Heartache occurs. Manipulating these emotions temporarily will only make the reality worse.

**I am sharing this post on Kevin’s Facebook page but won’t link it again through Facebook so check back if you want to. I will warn you, I am going to have a time of "catch up" so there might be a lot to start:)

If you do continue into the new year in your Meta spaces I leave you with some excellent advice I recently heard on a podcast when the guest was discussing social media. He said, In part:

“Be intentional with who you follow. When you choose who to follow on social media you are choosing your future thoughts. You are choosing the flow of information you are going to put yourself in front of and pretty much every thought that you have is downstream from what you consume.

If you want to have better thoughts  make sure you are consuming better pieces of information.”

I hope we can continue to connect real life and now in this space.

Happy New Year.

XOXO

Mary